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Holding On To Pain

Jun 25, 2022

One of the primary thing that holds us back in the human experience is our pain, anger, fear, etc. If something negative has happened to us in the past, our nervous system calibrates to that experience. Now, when a familiar context arises, we experience the pain of our nervous system preparing to experience similar trauma. This is your subconscious memory at play. This subconscious part of our memory is constantly tryin to avoid danger. It's simple aversion and attraction. This becomes a major problem when we allow our conscious mind to "go along with it". 

We continue the cycles of pain in our lives because we fear to go within. We hold onto the hurt others caused us as if it's our burden to carry. We create a state of victimhood, perpetually continuing our shame and pain. We point the finger outward in blame, when it's us that feels the discomfort in our bodies, based off of our concepts. 

If you need help moving past your subconscious pain, book an Emotional Alchemy session today!

 


Transcript

Our inability to let things go is the very function that keeps us in the pain of the experience. Not being able to move past something. I am offended by this. I cannot move past what this person said, what they did, maybe it can't get past an event that happened. An accident is tragedy. Our inability to let it go, no matter how maybe it's by conscious choice or by just simple trauma, and then just can't move past it. That's the thing that keeps you in the pain of the experience.

 

Now there's ways to get out of it. There's ways to heal past trauma and move out of it. In those regards to the things we just simply can't address, cuz they've maybe been burned out of our memory so deeply from that protection mechanism that our, our nervous system does when we're in, in big shit.

 

And there's ways to get past that. That's if you need help, emotional alchemy is the, uh, great tool for, for moving past those things. But it's the conscious ones that, that we have control over where, what causes us a lot of pain in our lives, where we have an experience, you know, something happens and we say this thing happened, I'm offended, I'm hurt, whatever it is, whatever it is. And it could be totally justifiable instead of finding whatever the lesson was, how did I get myself into this situation?

 

Well, how would this have happened? You know, finding that, that, that deep space of like what what's really going on here, let me zoom out. You know, we say, why did this happen to me? You know, and we can't get past it. And, and even if that event is long gone, long gone, or that person has maybe shown signs of changing or something like that, if whatever we, we hold onto, if we have a, that pride of our pain, that, that ego of our pain, oh, this is my pain.

 

This is the reason that I'm acting this way. I have to hold onto this story. It's like, we just, we just perpetuate that in ourself and we just keep it going and we keep it going. And I've seen it happen with, uh, people I know, and, and, and different clients where they get locked onto a story about some past hurt. And that story just gets bigger and it gets bigger and it gets like blown out of proportion wildly. And then it's like the, the person is living with the original story that they couldn't let go of whatever the event was.

 

And then they build story on top of story on top of the original thing. And they have to carry all of that with them. They give away all of their power. You have to acknowledge my pain, look at how hurt I've been. We just buy into our stories. And even that it's like this, this pride of pain, oh, I ha I'm the one way I am because I'm so hurt. Look at my story and some victimhood mentality, and it keeps us stuck in the very patterns. And until we can be aware of these things until we can address them until we can say, Hey, look at me.

 

I, I experienced this. I accept that. I wonder I've been this way just to be gentle with yourself and to be accepting, to show yourself love, to understand that you've just been going through a journey. And then all of those hurts that you're holding onto and all of those offenses have nothing to do with anybody else. Now they're just yours that you're holding onto. And every single hurt that you hold onto from the past, which is a memory, is nothing more than electrical, chemical sensation happening in your body.

 

It doesn't exist anymore. And every dwelling on that thing, every thought on that thing, every rumination into that thing that is in the past is creating a state of your nervous system to feel the way you do in this moment, which will inevitably fuck up your future because your current state is creating what you think of as your future.

 

And if you're living your current state through your past lens of understanding through hurt and through fear through pain, and all you're gonna have is hurt and fear and pain in your present and in your future. So if we cannot let go of our pains, we cannot move past and surrender to the process. Zoom out a little bit, observe it, oh, look at this bigger picture happening here. It's hard to see the bigger picture when you know the tree and the forest fell in your leg. What's the, you can't see the forest or the trees, probably a horrible analogy, but you get the idea, just zoom it out a little bit.

 

There's always a process. There's always a beautiful experience to learn within the process. And the longer you hold onto your pain and you hold onto your hurt and you hold onto your anger. The longer you'll be in pain, you'll be hurt and you'll be angry and.

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