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Am I Doing This Right?

ego lifepurpose mindfulness purpose Jun 06, 2022





In the game of life, we live in this constant phase between am I doing what's right? Am I screwing this up? Am I making the right decision? It is a, constant problem of humanity, for any tradition you can, you know, am I doing the right thing with my life? What is my purpose? What is my meaning? Or within any tradition, of religion, you know, look at, uh, Christianity, you know, am I in God's will for my life, is God's speaking to me, am I doing the right thing? And we all live in this constant phase of wondering if we are doing it right.


And that very wondering is an element of the ego. Am I okay? Am I accepted? Am I doing things right? And the reality is you're doing life. Just like everybody else.


You're experiencing all of the same things as everybody else. Everyone's going through the exact same scenarios. Everyone's going through the same feelings of life and our particular version of life. My version, your version is entirely based on our ego, on our concept of the way things should be our demands of the world around us. So we have a concept we've learned to be a certain way. We've learned that life works like this, that I do things like this, that my work looks like this and my relationships, my house, whatever we've learned to only accept a certain thing we've learned from our culture and our family origin that, oh, this is the right way to do it.


And this is the wrong way to do it. And in fact, in so many cultures, there's even more of the ego demanded in there throughout religion. If you don't do it this way, the way we all do it, you are going to actually die for eternity or something like that.


You're damned to, um, some eternal reward of, of punishment. Um, for, you know, your actions, or lack thereof. We end up in this, this massive element of ego in all of these things. And that's the dissonance with life. We end up saying, this is the way it's gotta be. You know, and despite the fact that we come from this, this line of us all just making it up every, at every single point of religion and in practice and things like that, somebody made it up.

There was never a point in any religion where the God of the purported religion came down and wrote the shit down. It was always based on some man's ego, interpreting what he thought God felt. That, that inner voice, the feeling, their own, their own story. So we, we get very confused in these, um, dynamics of ego where it's like, oh, it's God, God said it. Cuz everybody says it. But it was just somebody that originally made up a, a feeling or had a feeling with it themselves and then wrote it down and then just gets reinforced by society.


So that, that dynamic of ego, all of these things that make us feel separate from society, even these traditions of religion that say, oh, here's the religion of ego. You are separate from society, unless you do these things. And the only way you know, that you're doing these things right, is by an internal sense of fulfillment, your own feelings and things like that. So that ego just fucks us up right, and left in humanity, within religions, within our social constructs, and cultural things. It's the very thing that keeps us separate from the whole thing, from the beauty, from God, from all of it, God being the whole thing, every bit of beauty, every person, every energy, every good, every bad, every yin, every yang, all of that stuff.


And we say, oh, I know what's right. I have to do it this way. I have to do it that way. They have to do it this way and they have to do it that way.


And as this infinitesimal space fart on a tiny rock spinning in an infinite void, seems a little, uh, prideful. I guess, to think that in the midst of all of the energies of life and all of the possibilities that I am, right. And then I experience the pain by saying, everyone else is wrong. They have to do it my way. I am offended. So I come up with my own ways of doing it in a landscape of everythingness and I demand that everybody else do it my way and be my way and think my way and view things my way through my lens of understanding.


And then my ego gets upset that I don't feel connected.


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